Help, I Can’t Stop Watching Terrible Hallmark Christmas Movies – Blogmas Day 9

Let me tell you something about myself. I am not a film buff. I’m not out here looking for the best, deepest movie where the lighting director really caught the essence of the film’s theme with a perfectly moody scene. This being said, I would like to think that I have some appreciation for the art that is film. As such, I have no clue why I can’t stop watching those terrible Hallmark Christmas movies.

Photo by on Unsplash

If you’ve never seen a Hallmark Christmas movie before, let me catch you up to speed. A small town woman moves to the big city to become a big shot CEO/Project Developer/Business Woman of some sort. Suddenly, she’s on the books for a promotion! And for whatever reason, that promotion means that she has to return to her own small town (or some other small town) and transform it with the power of capitalism!

Unfortunately for her, she feels an internal struggle as she comes to love the small town and some conventionally attractive man who lives there! Will she power through and get her promotion or will she sacrifice everything for love? Who knows? I mean, we the audience know. She’s giving it all up for love!

Of course, there are some other plot variations. Sometimes the woman lives in the small town and her love interest is the CEO/Project Developer/Business Man or sometimes the love interest is just a blast from the past. But the true essence of a Hallmark Christmas movie is that they’re the same movie every time. Even the actors are the same! It’s wild!

Now the main problem is that these movies are just all kinds of bad. On the one hand, there’s the superficial reasons that they’re just bad as movies. The scripts aren’t strong or original, the set design can be kind of iffy, and the editing isn’t always the best.

On the other hand, these movies have absolutely no interest in being socially progressive. First of all, they reject any notion of diversity. They almost exclusively cast white leads and white background characters. Moreover, these white women leads are “unfulfilled” because they don’t experience a romantic love that can only be achieved by sacrificing their career. This isn’t to say that it isn’t alright for women to desire different things out of their careers and lives when they invest themselves in some intense humans relationship, because most people do. The problem is that almost every story ends with the woman realizing that her current career isn’t what she wanted.

Moreover, these relationships are always new when these changes are made. Like, I’m sorry? You’re going to move to this town and quit your job to be with Marcus? And the only thing you’ve had time to learn about him in the 2 seconds that you’ve known each other is that he makes really good hot cocoa? Like, I don’t know. Maybe the cocoa was just that good.

Of course, the whole point of this post is that despite all of these films’ flaws, I can’t stop watching them! I crave the predictability! I love the fake snow! I live for the idea that sugar cookies, candy canes, and the spirit of Christmas can heal all wounds! It’s horrible, but I am in for this horrible, Lacy Chabert-filled ride!

What’s your holiday guilty pressure?

Thanks for reading!

Until next time, have an awesome rest of your day and an amazing rest of your week!

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2 thoughts on “Help, I Can’t Stop Watching Terrible Hallmark Christmas Movies – Blogmas Day 9

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